Tag Archives: ruminations

One Hundred Fifty and 0/100

Posted on by

So, this is my 150th post. I suppose now would be a good time to go back through my previous entries and see where I was, where I am now, and how the hell I got here, but really I’d rather not right now. I’m a long-winded fucker, and that’s a hell of a lot of writing to read. Maybe later, when I’m feeling more nostalgic/philosophic.

I’m currently sitting in my living room, on the futon, with my legs up on the coffee table. The patio door is open with the screen in place, letting the air circulate through the house because it’s been exceptionally nice out. I can hear birds outside, and I’ve plugged my iPod into my stereo, playing through my uber-compilation (475 of my favorite songs, no duplicates, set to random). It has largely been a good day, so I’m not entirely sure why I’m feeling vaguely sour right now.
Continue reading →

The Intensity of an Unfettered Soul

Posted on by

I will be the first to admit, I have always been a prideful man. I am proud of my family, my friends, the capabilities and potentials they have, the things they’ve done, who they are. There are far worse things to be prideful about, but nevertheless it is just as bad as any other thing to be proud of: it creates the illusion of merit based acceptance, instead of accepting purely for the sake of acceptance.

I visited my grandmother today, a woman whom has done more in her life than most. She raised five children, traveled the globe, embroiled herself in community projects, and otherwise occupied herself with always something. She is extremely intelligent, with a degree from Radcliffe; if one were to try to think of an example to sum up the type of person she is, I would recall that she gave my father permission to marry my mother because he managed to beat her at Scrabble. She could do the New York Times crossword puzzle in under an hour (and would do so, regularly).

She is now 90, half paralyzed, and bed-ridden. Her mental facilities (in particular her short term memory) have eroded because of this, and I am simultaneously furious and upset to see her like this.
Continue reading →

Explorations

Posted on by

First: I’m an Uncle (again)! Nikhil Tiger Sacks was born March 31, 2004, and is doing well (as is his mom). Congratulations, and I can’t wait to meet him :).

I’m not quite sure where this post will take me. I’m mostly posting because I’ve had requests to update so the prior post is no longer so prominently displayed. What exactly I’ll be posting, I’m not entirely sure. Hence the post, “Explorations”.

It’s not that I have nothing to say. I have a LOT to say, about a great many things. Enjoying the beautiful weather we’ve been having, getting to spend time with my wife, adventures with UberCon, money woes (if I don’t get a job in the next month or two, we’ll have to move when our lease is up, and if it doesn’t pay very well, then we may have to move anyway), and looking forward to seeing my friends on my impending trip back east for school.

That’s just the things that are immediately pressing on my mind. There’s much more to say. The sad part is that I don’t really want to talk about any of it in any amount of depth.
Continue reading →

Grr. Argh.

Posted on by

I’m not entirely sure what I’m going to write about this evening, but it’s time to post again, and there are definitely things rolling around in my head. Some are postable (post-worthy is arguably too pretentious for them), some are not, but no time like the present to find out!

I’m pretty sure I mentioned it before, but my friends Eli and Megan broke up recently. This has been a rollercoaster of emotions for the both of them, I’m sure. They’ve been processing it differently, though, which has caused a bit of… hmm, strife in the overall breakup. Namely, Eli has been externalizing, being very vocal about how he is feeling, and open about his needs. Megan has been far more internalizing as far as I can tell, and has been processing how she’s feeling either by herself, or with a few close friends.
Continue reading →

SLOW: Children at Play

Posted on by

I’m currently sitting in the Redmond Town Center Mall, which is this very rich, very ritzy outdoor mall. It is in the mid to upper 50s, and sunny, which means that it is mildly busy with housewives and small children. Not horribly by any means, just enough to be noticeable. What is remarkable about this to me is that none are screaming, crying, or having tantrums. It reminds me that children can in fact be delightful fun when they are happy, playing in the fountain (one obviously meant to be played in, no less). There is a collection of 3 or 4 children, none of whom are over 5, playing in the water (the fountain is flush with the ground, and rather remarkable, with a large brass bear (and two smaller cubs playing) sitting guard over it all.

Teenagers have also started infiltrating the mall, as school is out. They are well dressed and pretty clearly the children of some of the wealthier denizens of the area. They are also hanging around the fountain, and are being remarkably well behaved and friendly to the small children. After visiting east coast malls, this is a refreshing change, and I’m fairly impressed. I’m a big fan of people behaving respectfully to everyone around them, leaving the chipped shoulders elsewhere. After all, the sun is out, now is not a time to be pissy.
Continue reading →

Back in the Saddle Again

Posted on by

I’m not entirely sure whether this will prove to be a short post or a long one yet, so please bear with me. It’s been a long time since I really sat down and wrote an entry, despite feeling that I should (and in fact missing the feeling). I have a number of things that I would like to write longer, more thoughtful, drawn out posts about, things such as UberCon, and all the surrounding brouhaha that has accompanied it (almost all of it positive, however, or at the very least not negative).

But not right now.
Continue reading →

The Good, the Bad, the Director

Posted on by

So, things have been a little stressful, lately. Health insurance came due, and while not exactly unexpected, we really didn’t have the funds for it, so we are now left with needing to do some creative accounting to find the money for everything (rent, bills, car payments, car repairs, et cetera — the money we gratefully received from Mickey’s father to repair the car had to be spent on the health insurance). I’m scrambling madly for a job and have had absolutely no luck. I’ve submitted over 60 resumes at this point, plus several job applications for retail positions, and everyone is either not hiring, or is looking for someone more qualified. Not that they are telling me this, mind you: I’ve been lucky to get an auto-response out of most of them. They also generally say “No calls concerning employment accepted — if we like your resume, WE’LL CALL YOU.”

That would be “the bad”: being broke as hell, with no relief in sight. Even jobs I’m qualified for I’m not getting a response out of. At this rate, it is distinctly possible that we’ll have to sell stock (or use it as collateral on a loan) and move back east to DC, where Mickey has more consistent, reasonable-paying work. I really like it out here except for the job situation, so I’m really REALLY hoping it doesn’t come to that.
Continue reading →

Mostly Dead

Posted on by

…If he were all dead, there’s only one thing you could do: go through his pockets for loose change.

I apologize for not posting recently. I have some schoolwork due that is taking up most of my time (nothing special, just some annotations and an essay), and I’ve felt guilty about taking the time to post. Silly of me, really, as nothing motivates you towards accomplishment like… other accomplishment. You take the pleasant feeling of satisfaction at completing something and use it to fuel working on something else that needs completing.

Anyway, there is a new image up in the gallery, from my lovely wife. She claims it’s the last of her Geisha pictures, we’ll see if that’s the case. As for when my own gallery space will be up… I don’t know exactly. I redesigned my copyright watermark to be less distracting, and am now in the process of going back to the originals from my archives. I’ve come across several images that I’d passed over before that I’m finding far more worthwhile now, so there will even be some new content among the old (plus actually new material, taken as recently as two weeks ago).

As a last word about the gallery: please DO register an account! It gives you a whole slew of extra abilities (voting and comments being two big ones), and really only takes a second to do. (The register and login links are in the upper right corner of the gallery page.)

I’ll try to get back into a posting habit again soon. At least I’ve got company in this no-new-post land… Uri, Eli, Adam, and Shane all haven’t posted in a while either. My wife has been pretty good about posting, as has Chris, so it’s not like I’m going to be left all alone in the “recently posted” realm. Damn good company, at that.

Sippy Cup

Posted on by

A few weeks ago, Mickey and I decided to go to Cat in the Hat. She was interested in the set, having read about the vast foam set they had built, and I’m really open to pretty much anything. We went to the last show of the evening on a weekday, which mean that we had the entire theater to ourselves, literally. Needless to say, we heckled and laughed and bounced around, and had a far better time with the movie because of this than I think we would have otherwise.

We came in already a bit punchy, and decided to splurge on the combo popcorn and soda… “for only a quarter more” we got fully a HALF-GALLON of sprite, in a giant caricature of a normal sized cup. It had all the proportions correct, it was just… larger, in every dimension. It even came with a slightly wider, extra long straw. They were obviously clearing out old stock, as it had wrapped around its middle images from Matrix Reloaded (not even Revolutions).

Needless to say, by the end of the movie, it was still half full (and that’s with both of us working on it). We took it home, I drank the last of the soda, and then it was put away (washed).

This, my friends, is the ultimate sippy cup. Gripping it carefully with both hands, you suckle the giant straw, pulling ounce upon ounce of cold water down your throat. I feel like I’m three years old again, finally upgrading from the little cup with the sippy top to the big cups with the sippy top. The proportions are correct, and it really just strikes me as a beautiful, marvelous thing.

Who knows how long it will last, what with being a large cheap plastic cup, but for now at least I will appreciate it, both for the sensation of being three again that it gives, and for helping me keep hydrated for once.

Online Community… Buh?

Posted on by

I participate in a lot of different online communities, believe it or not (I mean, it’s not like I wrote a 50 page treatise on the subject or anything).

I’m a general participant on IRC over on the Aniverse servers (#applegeeks, #machall, #megatokyo, #utopianpigs, and #inquisition), but I don’t “connect” with the users all that much (for reasons I’ve gone into before, mostly a matter of a large percentage being teenybopper idiots who haven’t a brain in their head, and EVERYONE looking for a fight).

I’m a sporadic regular on the Penny Arcade Artist’s Corner (PAAC), posting regularly for a few weeks, then disappearing for a month or two. It’s not that I get bored or fed up or anything… I just get distracted and forget to log on for a while.

I’m an aging veteran on Avatar, having logged in literally thousands of hours there, both to play, to chat, and to administrate. I don’t log on as much as I probably should anymore, because the thought of logging on just makes me feel tired. Not sleepy tired, either. The weary aching feeling in your bones tired. I have a niggling feeling that I should retire, which is hard, since “Nadreck” has been a part of my life for going on 7 years now. One of my justifications in not retiring is the feeling that I should go out with a bang, write the very best area I feel I can, and retire as it is put in. It is an area that I have not yet felt capable of or ready to write.

I have Final Fantasy XI which, while I thoroughly enjoy, has not yet given me the feeling of cohesive community yet. Only time will tell on that on.
Continue reading →