The Intensity of an Unfettered Soul

I will be the first to admit, I have always been a prideful man. I am proud of my family, my friends, the capabilities and potentials they have, the things they’ve done, who they are. There are far worse things to be prideful about, but nevertheless it is just as bad as any other thing to be proud of: it creates the illusion of merit based acceptance, instead of accepting purely for the sake of acceptance.

I visited my grandmother today, a woman whom has done more in her life than most. She raised five children, traveled the globe, embroiled herself in community projects, and otherwise occupied herself with always something. She is extremely intelligent, with a degree from Radcliffe; if one were to try to think of an example to sum up the type of person she is, I would recall that she gave my father permission to marry my mother because he managed to beat her at Scrabble. She could do the New York Times crossword puzzle in under an hour (and would do so, regularly).

She is now 90, half paralyzed, and bed-ridden. Her mental facilities (in particular her short term memory) have eroded because of this, and I am simultaneously furious and upset to see her like this.
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Today, Squam

Today, we collected a bunch of people (Uri, Eli, Pia, Dave, Margot, Ann, Adam, and myself, plus the babies, Addison and Leah) and went for a day trip over to Squam.

It fucking ROCKED. Even got a chance to go kayaking around Great Island, as my aunt and uncle happened to swing by and let us into the boathouse and gave us the go-ahead on using their boats.

I’ll write about it more later, as I’m pretty tired right now.

Dartmouth, Revisited

So, just a quick post because I’m hanging out at Collis once more, after six months. It has finally become warm (currently 73 degrees and cloudy with the potential of thunderstorms), and I have been missing the particular mood and atmosphere that occurs when hanging out in Hanover.

Residency went well, and I’m looking forward to really diving into drawing every day (I’m due for a drawing today, and will get to it, but haven’t yet). It feels good to be back in the area, though I have been missing Mickey desperately. I got to see all sorts of folks last night, including getting to meet Eli’s friend Pia, whom is still hanging out with us (which is fine, as she’s cool), and is currently drawing across the table from me. Uri is on one side of me, Eli is on the other, and we’re all not really talking all that much. In other words, it’s another day in Hanover.
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Residency

I’m currently back east in Vermont, attending my one-week-every-six-months residency for school, and it has been an interesting experience thus far.

First off: I did not finish my prior semester. I came very close, and could have taken an extension, but I opted to instead just start a fresh new semester instead (since either way you look at it, either would push my graduation from April 2005 to October 2005). I’m feeling pretty good about that, especially since I should be able to reapply some of the work I did last semester and thus still get credit for it after a fashion. I was kind of dreading coming back for the residency, because (and this is, in fact, how I’ve been describing it), I haven’t been feeling very smurfy about it. It was NOT a smurfy semester.

It hasn’t been very smurfy for a lot of people, apparently. A considerable number either didn’t finish, barely finished, or are taking a leave or extension. The residency has had a very odd (and in some ways creepy) vibe so far (I’m four days in, and I’ll get to why I haven’t written up to now in a second). That said, I’ve had a chance to socialize and even make some new friends, and that feels really good after being a bit of a shut-in for the past six months.
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Explorations

First: I’m an Uncle (again)! Nikhil Tiger Sacks was born March 31, 2004, and is doing well (as is his mom). Congratulations, and I can’t wait to meet him :).

I’m not quite sure where this post will take me. I’m mostly posting because I’ve had requests to update so the prior post is no longer so prominently displayed. What exactly I’ll be posting, I’m not entirely sure. Hence the post, “Explorations”.

It’s not that I have nothing to say. I have a LOT to say, about a great many things. Enjoying the beautiful weather we’ve been having, getting to spend time with my wife, adventures with UberCon, money woes (if I don’t get a job in the next month or two, we’ll have to move when our lease is up, and if it doesn’t pay very well, then we may have to move anyway), and looking forward to seeing my friends on my impending trip back east for school.

That’s just the things that are immediately pressing on my mind. There’s much more to say. The sad part is that I don’t really want to talk about any of it in any amount of depth.
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Grr. Argh.

I’m not entirely sure what I’m going to write about this evening, but it’s time to post again, and there are definitely things rolling around in my head. Some are postable (post-worthy is arguably too pretentious for them), some are not, but no time like the present to find out!

I’m pretty sure I mentioned it before, but my friends Eli and Megan broke up recently. This has been a rollercoaster of emotions for the both of them, I’m sure. They’ve been processing it differently, though, which has caused a bit of… hmm, strife in the overall breakup. Namely, Eli has been externalizing, being very vocal about how he is feeling, and open about his needs. Megan has been far more internalizing as far as I can tell, and has been processing how she’s feeling either by herself, or with a few close friends.
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New Images

I’ve added some more images to the gallery, and do plan to start organizing them all into sections… I’m not entirely sure when, though. Hopefully soon.

For those who are too lazy to click twice (once on the gallery link, and once on the “natural order” link in the gallery), here is a direct link.

SLOW: Children at Play

I’m currently sitting in the Redmond Town Center Mall, which is this very rich, very ritzy outdoor mall. It is in the mid to upper 50s, and sunny, which means that it is mildly busy with housewives and small children. Not horribly by any means, just enough to be noticeable. What is remarkable about this to me is that none are screaming, crying, or having tantrums. It reminds me that children can in fact be delightful fun when they are happy, playing in the fountain (one obviously meant to be played in, no less). There is a collection of 3 or 4 children, none of whom are over 5, playing in the water (the fountain is flush with the ground, and rather remarkable, with a large brass bear (and two smaller cubs playing) sitting guard over it all.

Teenagers have also started infiltrating the mall, as school is out. They are well dressed and pretty clearly the children of some of the wealthier denizens of the area. They are also hanging around the fountain, and are being remarkably well behaved and friendly to the small children. After visiting east coast malls, this is a refreshing change, and I’m fairly impressed. I’m a big fan of people behaving respectfully to everyone around them, leaving the chipped shoulders elsewhere. After all, the sun is out, now is not a time to be pissy.
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On the Subject of Music (1000 Words)

I was originally going to write about music, and I still may. I’ve got iTunes on with an ecclectic playlist running through my headphones (I’ve no wish to keep Mickey up). Some songs just grab me and beg to be talked about, but then end before I can even really get started, and I don’t want to loop just one song for that. Then there are other songs that I really just have no wish to talk about. I enjoy them purely for the sake of enjoying them, and don’t feel compelled to say much at all, beyond perhaps “Tee hee. Whip it! Into shape!”

Okay, I’m going to at least go back to one that I want to write about. Let’s look at DJ Krush, Song 1 off “Zen”. I’ve listened to the other songs on the album, and none really fit quite as well as thing song. It has a simple beat, with some instrumentals laid over to give variety and flavor… very simple, and absolutely beautiful in my opinion. Complexity has its place, yes, but runs the risk of simply becoming “how much can I add?” That completely misses the point of creating music that uniquely and eloquently grasps a mood, a mode of thought, a viewpoint, a vibe, an aura, an energy, call it what you will. Some music “gets it” and some decidedly does NOT.
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