Yearly Archives: 2003

Ponderance

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Sitting in Hanover again, on the veranda of Collis Center. Four columns form a semicircular support for the roof above, a roof that is not necessary today… there is, in fact, not a single cloud in the sky. The air is still and warm, and there are conversations on either side of us (Mickey, Eli, and myself have just finished dinner).

To my right, two female college students are talking about their boyfriends, and fears about them. I am largely uninterested, but it bears note nonetheless.

To my left is a conversation among four students (three guys and a girl clutching a computer keyboard set up for Korean), talking about computers, their woes on the devaluation of their previous machines, the failures and tribulations of what they have now… and how they plan to upgrade soon.

I can’t blame them, I’m much the same way. I love my computers, don’t get me wrong. That said, I do very much want to get the new machine, and often go through the same justifications I’m hearing now. One of them is apparently going into the Air Force next year, and there I lose interest in the conversation.

I am thoroughly stuffed, burping gently, after eating an entire order of chicken lo mein and a kappa maki (cucumber roll). I still haven’t finished my drink from coffee, but that’s fine… it is a sipping drink if there ever was one. It’s super-caffinated, so much so that you can taste the caffeine in every sip. Take a large chai and add a shot of espresso and you have this drink. An interesting blend, but I don’t think I’ll get it again.

I’m getting dehydrated again, I can feel the early warnings in my chest and my mouth, feel the warmth at the back of my tongue. I guess I need to start carrying a water bottle again. Moving on.

As I walked out of Dirt and sat down on the bench outside, I noticed a book on the bookstand belonging to Left Bank Books out on the sidewalk. I immediately looked at Mickey, eyes pleading for the okay, and thankfully received the go-ahead: the National Gallery of Art’s collection of Alfred Stieglitz photographs, published in collaboration with Bulfinch Press. High quality reproductions, nice large book… lists at $75, picked it up for $40. Awww yeah….

Of course, what’s even cooler is that I actually SAW that exhibit down in Washington DC this past fall.

Visual Gallery Updated

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Just a quick entry saying that I’ve updated the visual gallery… all older pictures, but ones that I’ve been meaning to put up. I’ve got a folder full of redacted images that I’m going to be finally putting up, four per day until the folder is empty.

You can either click on the “Visual Content” link in the upper right corner of the page, or click here to be taken to the gallery.

I’m planning on doing an actual post later today, by the way, after some sleep.

The Visceral Experience

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Let me explain to you something about me, that I certainly hope explains at least somewhat why I write what I write on this site. (When I write anything beyond Site Maintenance, I mean.)

Some people don’t understand this, but it holds true for me: the viscera of life is a priority to me. The feeling on your face as the weather shifts from still, muggy, saturated air, to the turbulence and refreshment of a summer storm. The excitement and childlike joy that fills me when I see lightning and a thunderclap almost simultaneously, the fascination and eagerness of feeling those large, swollen droplets of rain splash onto my face.

The feeling of the heat of hot pavement on a summer’s day, scorching your feet, making you feel like a lizard, skittering along on it so as not to be burned. The feeling of trudging around in three feet of wet snow, warm in your snowgear, watching clumps of snow fall from the trees, listening to the activity that dwells within a sense of stillness.

The crash of the waves on a beach, a thunderous subsonic crescendo of noise, felt in your bones. The soft rustle of dry autumn leaves being walked through, hands in jacket pockets, keeping warm in the brisk air. The peace of lying down in a patch of moss, in a fern surrounded glen, listening to moisture drip from the trees, listening to things grow all around you.

This is what is important to me. This is what fills me with wellbeing, and happiness. I wish I could share it. I wish more people wanted to SEE.

Brief Reprieve

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I’ve been trying to post every day lately, kind of like my own version of “Morning Pages” (except not in the morning, generally). Morning Pages is a reference to a book called The Artist’s Way, which suggests writing every morning, to help clear and organize your mind.

I missed this weekend, however. Such is the way of life some days. I’ll just have to try harder.
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The Fourth Day

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An interesting day that was a non-day.

Today was mostly spent lounging about, catching up on email, reading essays (Bradbury, Zen in the Art of Writing), and chatting with folks that I hadn’t heard from in a while. Around 6 Mickey and I went out to coffee in Hanover, where we caught up with Eli and Megan, with whom we hung out for most of the night.
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Heat Musings

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Well, we have finally hit summer. This week, we have had a series of days ranging from 90 to 103 degrees, with signs of a break down to a measely 85 degrees this weekend.

The heat has proven to be an interesting shift in mode for me. As much as the heat can be overbearing during the day, the combination of sunlight and a climate controlled car make it reasonable to still do my normal daytime activities. However, the warmth carrying into the evening keeps me active and awake until much later at night than I had been, giving me more time for creative pursuits.
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Epiphany

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I made a realization a few moments ago, and felt it merited sharing. I’d finally gotten around to watching the last two DVDs of the Escaflowne series, a boxed set I’ve had for MONTHS. After watching the credits roll and putting the set away, I was left feeling ill at ease. Pausing for introspection, it finally came to me.

I procrastinate because I don’t like finishing things. Well, really I procrastinate for lots of reasons, but that is a new one to me. Perhaps a bit more explanation is in order.

The reason I don’t start projects is because I don’t want to finish them. I don’t return to projects that I was enjoying, because I might finish them. Looking back, I’m surprised I didn’t realize it sooner. You know how people talk about how it feels so great to finish a good book, or have closure on something? I never felt that. I always felt vaguely dissatisfied, ill at ease, wishing there was more though knowing full well that it wasn’t an option, nor even desireable on a more abstract level.

I’m sure there is more to this. I’m likewise sure that I have no IDEA what to do to remedy this. Ah well, just thought I’d share.

More Site Maintenance… Dangit

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Yeah, that’s right, yet another little post annoucning alterations to the site instead of announcing (or being) new content.

I’ve removed Polymer City Chronicles from my links list, and replaced it with Ozy & Millie, a syndicatable (in other words, really really well drawn and written) webcomic suggested to me by my brother.

In other news, I installed Movable Type onto my brother’s site, Mellow Afternoon. He should have some content of some sort up soon.

My next post will be an actual update, or my name isn’t Finneas T. Squirrel… and it’s not.