Category Archives: Musings

Writing to Avoid Writing

Posted on by

It makes sense, trust me. As Mickey mentioned last night to me (and which I’ve been saying myself for quite some time), it’s a matter of writing every day, even if it’s just writing about not wanting to write. Right. Correct.

A few things I haven’t talked about from my trip: the early early morning drive to the airport was an interesting (and perhaps intense) experience. We listened to volume 2 of a compilation I’d made, and rode up the empty interstate, stopping in Lebanon for gas and coffee. I remember remarking as we pulled from 91 to 89 that what I dig so much about compilations and playlists that you share with others is that at any time that you put it in, there is the chance that someone else out there is listening to it right at that moment. By the very act of thinking about that, friends become closer, more immediate.

We pulled in for gas, and got out: it was warm for a 4am in November, and I could see the stars clearly in the sky: Orion was in full armor, with all his stars full and bright like they only get during the winter. Riding on, I remember looking back and to the north and seeing the sky start to shimmer, the northern lights illuminating the sky like moonbeams without a moon to originate from. It was a damn good trip.
Continue reading →

Rain in Seattle

Posted on by

For the first time in several weeks, it is raining in Seattle. It has been sunny and hot for most of the summer, and the entire area is wrapped in a drought. It was discussed on the radio that with the ground where it is, if we got a torrential downpour, it wouldn’t help… so instead, we’ve gotten exactly what we needed: big droplets of water, falling at a steady pace. I can hear the pitter-patter as it falls through the trees outside my window, through which a gentle cool breeze is blowing.

I’ve got Nick Drake playing on my computer, and I’m listening to the rain, talking to interesting people. It is all relaxing in a way that only quiet rainy days can allow.
Continue reading →

Freaky

Posted on by

Allow me to preface this post by stating that I have dreams with people I haven’t actually MET but know through other means pretty regularly, usually when I’ve been doing a lot with them. A prime (pardon the pun) example would be dreaming that the Decepticons were spying on our apartment after watching the entirety of seasons one and two on DVD, followed by reading up on the full Transformers Metaverse history. What makes the dream in this post a bit more unique is that I HADN’T done any overload prior. In fact it had been quite some time since I’d even read his blog, let alone any of his work.

So, about a week ago, I had a particularly vivid dream. I was travelling with Mickey, and we were in a grocery store somewhere in the northern midwest (I’d say either Minnesota, Wisconsin, or possibly the Upper Peninsula of Michigan), and while leaving the store, ran into Neil Gaiman. Mickey had run back inside to get something, and so I struck up a conversation with Neil in order to stall him, because I knew that Mickey would want a chance to talk to him as well.

The conversation continues, and one or two other people join in (talking about the nature of dreams and the impact they have on reality), until finally Neil simply has to get back to his office, which is in the shopping plaza across the street, in a converted storefront. He invites me to swing by later to finish the conversation, and to bring my wife (since Mickey had still not come out of the store).
Continue reading →

Thought Showers

Posted on by

For lack of a better way to open, the title means very little beyond a reference to weather reports that say “Chance of Snow Showers”. It was going to be “Thoughts Scattered Like Papers on a Windy Day,” recalling a remembered moment from my recent trip to Chicago, but it was too long. Feel free to think of the title as that, though.

School has been going well. I managed to get my first packet in on time, and it’s looking like I’ll be able to pull that off with my second packet as well (don’t want to jinx it, though). I’ve been drawing at a fairly regular pace, though I really should try to step it up a bit. I see progress, which is good, but I still can tell that I’ve got a long way to go before I’d consider any of them “good”.

While we were in Chicago, Mickey, Mickey’s mom, our friend Ian, and myself went to see Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind, which is a regular tradition for Mickey and Ian, and the second time I’ve seen it (the first was in November, 2002). I enjoyed it just as much as I did the first time (possibly more), and found some of the new plays quite engaging (the content of TMLMTBGB is constantly changing… as they say, “If you’ve seen the show once, you’ve seen the show once.”). We went and had coffee and chatted about various things (including UberCon), and in general had a good time.
Continue reading →

One Hundred Fifty and 0/100

Posted on by

So, this is my 150th post. I suppose now would be a good time to go back through my previous entries and see where I was, where I am now, and how the hell I got here, but really I’d rather not right now. I’m a long-winded fucker, and that’s a hell of a lot of writing to read. Maybe later, when I’m feeling more nostalgic/philosophic.

I’m currently sitting in my living room, on the futon, with my legs up on the coffee table. The patio door is open with the screen in place, letting the air circulate through the house because it’s been exceptionally nice out. I can hear birds outside, and I’ve plugged my iPod into my stereo, playing through my uber-compilation (475 of my favorite songs, no duplicates, set to random). It has largely been a good day, so I’m not entirely sure why I’m feeling vaguely sour right now.
Continue reading →

The Intensity of an Unfettered Soul

Posted on by

I will be the first to admit, I have always been a prideful man. I am proud of my family, my friends, the capabilities and potentials they have, the things they’ve done, who they are. There are far worse things to be prideful about, but nevertheless it is just as bad as any other thing to be proud of: it creates the illusion of merit based acceptance, instead of accepting purely for the sake of acceptance.

I visited my grandmother today, a woman whom has done more in her life than most. She raised five children, traveled the globe, embroiled herself in community projects, and otherwise occupied herself with always something. She is extremely intelligent, with a degree from Radcliffe; if one were to try to think of an example to sum up the type of person she is, I would recall that she gave my father permission to marry my mother because he managed to beat her at Scrabble. She could do the New York Times crossword puzzle in under an hour (and would do so, regularly).

She is now 90, half paralyzed, and bed-ridden. Her mental facilities (in particular her short term memory) have eroded because of this, and I am simultaneously furious and upset to see her like this.
Continue reading →

Dartmouth, Revisited

Posted on by

So, just a quick post because I’m hanging out at Collis once more, after six months. It has finally become warm (currently 73 degrees and cloudy with the potential of thunderstorms), and I have been missing the particular mood and atmosphere that occurs when hanging out in Hanover.

Residency went well, and I’m looking forward to really diving into drawing every day (I’m due for a drawing today, and will get to it, but haven’t yet). It feels good to be back in the area, though I have been missing Mickey desperately. I got to see all sorts of folks last night, including getting to meet Eli’s friend Pia, whom is still hanging out with us (which is fine, as she’s cool), and is currently drawing across the table from me. Uri is on one side of me, Eli is on the other, and we’re all not really talking all that much. In other words, it’s another day in Hanover.
Continue reading →

Explorations

Posted on by

First: I’m an Uncle (again)! Nikhil Tiger Sacks was born March 31, 2004, and is doing well (as is his mom). Congratulations, and I can’t wait to meet him :).

I’m not quite sure where this post will take me. I’m mostly posting because I’ve had requests to update so the prior post is no longer so prominently displayed. What exactly I’ll be posting, I’m not entirely sure. Hence the post, “Explorations”.

It’s not that I have nothing to say. I have a LOT to say, about a great many things. Enjoying the beautiful weather we’ve been having, getting to spend time with my wife, adventures with UberCon, money woes (if I don’t get a job in the next month or two, we’ll have to move when our lease is up, and if it doesn’t pay very well, then we may have to move anyway), and looking forward to seeing my friends on my impending trip back east for school.

That’s just the things that are immediately pressing on my mind. There’s much more to say. The sad part is that I don’t really want to talk about any of it in any amount of depth.
Continue reading →

Grr. Argh.

Posted on by

I’m not entirely sure what I’m going to write about this evening, but it’s time to post again, and there are definitely things rolling around in my head. Some are postable (post-worthy is arguably too pretentious for them), some are not, but no time like the present to find out!

I’m pretty sure I mentioned it before, but my friends Eli and Megan broke up recently. This has been a rollercoaster of emotions for the both of them, I’m sure. They’ve been processing it differently, though, which has caused a bit of… hmm, strife in the overall breakup. Namely, Eli has been externalizing, being very vocal about how he is feeling, and open about his needs. Megan has been far more internalizing as far as I can tell, and has been processing how she’s feeling either by herself, or with a few close friends.
Continue reading →

SLOW: Children at Play

Posted on by

I’m currently sitting in the Redmond Town Center Mall, which is this very rich, very ritzy outdoor mall. It is in the mid to upper 50s, and sunny, which means that it is mildly busy with housewives and small children. Not horribly by any means, just enough to be noticeable. What is remarkable about this to me is that none are screaming, crying, or having tantrums. It reminds me that children can in fact be delightful fun when they are happy, playing in the fountain (one obviously meant to be played in, no less). There is a collection of 3 or 4 children, none of whom are over 5, playing in the water (the fountain is flush with the ground, and rather remarkable, with a large brass bear (and two smaller cubs playing) sitting guard over it all.

Teenagers have also started infiltrating the mall, as school is out. They are well dressed and pretty clearly the children of some of the wealthier denizens of the area. They are also hanging around the fountain, and are being remarkably well behaved and friendly to the small children. After visiting east coast malls, this is a refreshing change, and I’m fairly impressed. I’m a big fan of people behaving respectfully to everyone around them, leaving the chipped shoulders elsewhere. After all, the sun is out, now is not a time to be pissy.
Continue reading →