Just a quick ramble, not more of the rambling I’ve been doing the past few days.
I’ve been spending most of the day finding things to do other than write my essay. This is partially because a cluttered house is a cluttered mind, but mostly it’s just avoidance. Our last set of shelves arrived this morning while I was out getting our car serviced, so when I got back I set them up (Mickey had to go to work). After building the shelves and setting them in place came the fun task of getting all the devices onto the shelf and plugging them in appropriately. This involved much craning around and contorting myself into a pretzel to get behind the tv, a place which at this point is fairly inaccessible.
I finally gave up being a contortionist and did what I should have done in the first place: moved the TV away from the wall and hooked everything up, then moved it back into place (I also moved it a few inches to the right, per Mickey’s suggestion/request).
Of course, this all left the living room a mess, what with packaging and such lying about, plus the previous foo from other endeavors. I finally had enough, and decided I should clean (shocking!). I cleaned up all the cables, the random papers (junk mail that had not yet made it to the trash, et cetera), and even vacuumed.
Still not satisfied (ie, still trying to find ways to avoid doing my essay for a while longer), I organized my DVD collection (Mickey’s is on a separate shelf, though her copy of Dark Crystal seems to have made it into the larger collection, despite it being hers… this will either be corrected or not, doesn’t really matter — it’s all OURS, anyway).
And now I sit here writing into my blog, rather than write my damn essay.
Before I go rummage a late lunch and maybe (perhaps) finally get back to work on the essay, I would like to make a glowing recommendation for a particular radio station out here in Seattle. I realize that most of my readership (there’s only maybe 10 of you, realistically) isn’t in the area, but it’s worth noting anyway, because they simulcast over the internet.
So if you have some spare bandwidth and want to check out a truly ecclectic station, head over to http://www.kexp.org. I’ve yet to be disappointed with them, and I’ve listened at this point at nearly every point of the day. For those of you in the Upper Valley area and remember, the programming reminds me vaguely of The River, in particular when their show “The Holistic Circus” was on.
Another thing to note about the station: they don’t really have advertising, per se. They occasionally announce a sponsor, but don’t have the normal ad space. At the same time, they aren’t an NPR service. How do they do it? Well, they are the official radio station run and funded by the Experience Music Project, which is a multi-corporate-sponsored effort to continue to push the boundaries of music and chronicle what has come before. They have a museum down in Seattle Center, if any of you feel like learning more about it while you’re visiting us in Seattle (HINT HINT).
And with that, I’m spent. Off to find food!
Hi, again, Nabil.
I guess I’m “one of the ten” who do tune in and read your web log. This way, I don’t have to call you or email you and Mickey to ask, “What are you doing?”, the way that my mother was apt to do. ;-)
Some more thoughts (maybe on the mark and maybe off the mark) to follow up your August 28 entry on “Passion vs. Obsession” and your August 29 entry on “Ramble, Light”:
I wonder if you’re like a number of the brighter people I’ve met in my life — you have strong skills and interests in a lot of different areas, you enjoy dabbling and delving into them, but they compete for your attention at any given moment and leave you “churning” as you shift from one area to another. It can be hard to focus on the chore at hand (“writing that damb essay…”) when a plethora of other more enticing activities pop up.
I also wonder if you’re a perfectionist at the level that you’re your own worst critic — whatever you accomplish or achieve isn’t good or perfect enough to match your expectations. Your self assessment (” I still had plenty of room for improvement, and knew that I COULD improve if I put in the effort”) sounds a lot like my feelings at your age (and older ages, too) and a lot like my son, David, throughout his life (just ask Mickey!). I don’t think your view of your skill levels (“the half-assed plateau I feel like I’m at in so many things”) is accurate or fair to yourself.
You grew up in a fairly small town and that can impose a set of limitiations. It can be hard to fit in (and depressing) when there doesn’t seem to be anyone around (besides your parents) who shares your interests or passions. It wouldn’t be unusual for someone to supress their passions as a way of trying to fit in with their more limited peers (there’s the curse of being “NORMAL”, the lowest common denominator of life). Mickey was fortunate to grow up in a town of 75,000+ people next to a major city where she could find more of a variety of people and people who shared her interests and passions. I agree with Mike that being in the Seattle area will be a balm for you.
I think there are times during one’s life when one does go through a “churning” process with attendant self-evaluation and self-doubt. You appear to be going through one of those times now, initiated by the major changes in your personal life (marriage and the move). A benefit of the “churning” and self re-assessment can be a return to the level of passion you had before for the areas of your choosing. Let it work itself out. But don’t let the churning serve as an excuse not to complete your essay.
Dad-in-law. 8-)>
PS: My wife and I are attending a Hindu wedding tomorrow (Amee’s cousin Nisha Doshi) so I don’t expect to be able to read any blogs or journals until Sunday. Hindu weddings take about 50 to 100 times longer than Baha’i ceremonies to accomplish the same end result.
Hehehehe, churning – that’s a good term!
I think I understand churning. Going through some now.
Trust your instincts, don’t over-analyze, and go!
Dad
PS – Looking around the studio right now, I *fully* understand clutter and it’s effect on creative produtivity. ;-)