With much thanks to the lovely Mickey, I now have money to pay my bills this month and hopefully still have some float for while work gets into gear. She bought my G5… it’s MARKEDLY faster than her current machine, and has half a terabyte of storage to help house her pictures, and helps me out of a really tight spot in the process. I also reactivated CS2 on it before handing it over, so until she picks up her copy of CS3, she has a more up to date copy of Photoshop in the process. In the meantime, no CS2 on my laptop, but I like doing Photoshop on the desktop more anyway, so no biggie. Just need to remember to migrate the activation to the laptop when I fly east for a week in July.

I haven’t forgotten my plan to start reviewing songs on here, I just got a little delayed in working to make sure I have food on the table. I’ll aim to actually start it Monday (tomorrow).

There’s a lot else to talk about. I hit a really low spot the other day, quite possibly the lowest I’ve been, even through the anti-depressants I’ve been prescribed. I was a mess, and sort of let my apartment become a mess (been working today on correcting that), and… well, it was rough. It wasn’t any one thing, just everything caught up to me at once, the job issues, the lack of money, the speeding ticket, the loneliness, the girl troubles. I ended up talking with my friend Lorna, recently back from Japan, and Chris out in Norway even gave a much needed and appreciated phone call. We talked a fair bit about what I need to do to get out of this hole, and that on some level, hitting bottom is a good thing (though it sucks). Talked about taking any shit job that’ll pay the bills, and when you get off work, spend the rest of the evening working on what you’re passionate about. Getting out of my own way and experiencing the muck and the shit that life has to offer. It would help give me more humanity in my writing — while I’m technically a good writer (while I occasionally make slips, my grammar, spelling, and vocabulary are good), and my theory on a number of things is good, I lack that pathos in my writing that gives it passion and humanity. And y’know, it’s true. My writing, while perhaps not sterile, isn’t exactly full of the human element, either. It’s something I’ve been aware of for a while, and it’s something I need to work on.

I’ve managed to convince a friend to come up for the week at Squam in July, which should be great, as it’s been a while since I’ve seen them. Of course, “convince” might bit a strong term… being able to relax by the lake and catch up on reading and chatting idly is pretty enticing on its own. It does mean that I’ve gone from “eagerly anticipating” to full on “excited” about coming back in July.